Starting to Feel Old...

Sitting back watching my ever growing family these past few weekends, I began to feel old! That's right, at the age of nineteen, I feel like an old lady. Most of my younger cousins and siblings are now growing so fast that I hardly recognize them. They all try to act so grown up, it makes me sad because they have no idea how fast their childhood will fly by. It pains me to know that most of them will lose their innocence and purity that goes along with being a child very shortly after they become more conscious of the world around them. Most of them live happily, content with being able to run free outside, catching bugs or "exploring," as most children often do.
Childhood is the one time in a person's life when they have no responsibility and don't have to acknowledge what is happening in the world around them. I remember running wild in the woods surrounding my house and walking in "the Forest" home from the neighbors house. I remember making our famous "dog bone stew" with my cousins. Rolling down huge hills in barrels or just rolling down without one, then sledding on those very same hills months later, was always a key activity in our family. Ice fishing, ice skating, snowball fights, and building snowmen were some of the more fun and more common winter activities that I participated in as a child. Birthday parties, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter, my whole family was always together for everything.
Gradually, however, as the years went by, it has been harder to stay close. I realize that this is a result of everyone growing up and living their own lives, but I still miss the family gatherings at the lake or at someone's house. It upsets me to see how much our family has changed over the years and how much the younger kids of the family are truly missing out.
Growing up I had a blast! We played games all of the time. Wiffle ball, basketball, hide and seek, freeze tag, tag, red light-green light, and marco polo were some of our favorite games to play. Everyone played or at least watched. Family gatherings brought not only the immediate family, but it was like a family reunion every time that we all got together.
Over the years I have come to realize that family is the most important thing in my life. My family has relied on one another to survive some pretty intense situations and that closeness has been passed on the next generation. In case you didn't guess by now, my family is extremely close and would do just about anything for one another. We stand by one another through thick and thin. I've always felt safe and as though I belong, but I also have my own unique place within my strong family ranks. We each have our own strengths and weaknesses, but where one person may be weak, there's another right there ready and willing to help.
As a family we've roofed houses and built garages in a matter of days, working along side one another to get the job done. We help each other as much as possible. I can honestly name most of my family members as the type of people who'd give you the shirt off of their back. Just thinking about my family makes me realize how lucky I've been in the scheme of things.
Watching each of my twenty-plus cousins and my brothers and sister grow up is an amazing thing. They each are taking their out time in developing their skills, but they are evident in almost everything that they do. I can't help but try imagining where each of them will be some day. My siblings I have a pretty good idea where they'll end up. TPC will either become a lawyer, or a psychologist, but don't hold me to that, he might change his mind. He can talk his way around anything and in the end he'll have you agreeing with him. My sister will either be a teacher or a nurse because of her nuturing nature. She's also going to make a really good mom some day. My youngest brother is going to go into a trade of some sort, he's really hands on and likes to be outside. This is just my guess at what my sibling will eventually do, but who knows, life has a funny way of deciding things for you.
I can't even begin to imagine where my life would be if not for my family. They have given me everything that I have and have always been there for me. They have supported me in everything that I have done and hope to do. It is because of them that I embrace art and writing and have the strength to try both. If it is one thing that I have learned in my life, it is that without family, you're pretty alone in the world. Family is one of the few things that remain constant. Friends come and go, but family will always be there.
Jen