Beginning

So this is the beginning of another year. I start classes today and I'm not too sure how I feel about that. I'm not sure what I want to do when this year is done, and I'm tired of people telling me that I wasted fours years and thousands of dollars at school, when in reality, it's not wasted. I've gained something that no one can take away from me, knowledge. Had I been able to take time to think about what it is that I wanted with my life earlier on, maybe I wouldn't be in the situation that I'm in right now. Who's to say?
I start class in about two hours and I don't think that I'm ready to go. I'm not ready to move on and begin living like things are "normal" again. I have the lump in my throat that won't go away no matter what I say or do. I have this empty void that at times feels like it's drowning me. I just want to be happy, but who knows when that will ever happen at this point. My entire life is hanging by a thread right now. The shambles that are left after this summer are crumbling slowly and steadily.
Will it ever get better? Will the pain ever go away? I hope so and soon because I don't want to hurt anymore and I don't want this morose outlook on life to affect those around me.

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So randomly one of my friends calls me and tells me she's got a problem. And all I kept thinking is that I can barely deal with my own right now, but I let her vent. Apparently she likes someone...big surprise there miss drama queen ;) ! The only problem is that he's her cousin's best friend...and the plot thickens. She doesn't know if she should tell him or just let things be and go with the flow. I keep telling her to let things work out on their own at least for the time being. He seems like he likes her as well from what she's told me, but that's only her side of the situation and I can't go ask him...that would be weird 'cause he doesn't know me all that well, so yeah can you say awkward.
My question to everyone who actually reads this, is does she actually go for it knowing that it might upset her cousin, or does she just act like nothing's going on, when it seems like there is? I don't know what to tell her because she usually makes a big deal out of nothing and reads into things a bit much, but I don't know what to say to her, it's hard.
If you have any input let me know.

The sanctity of life is lost amidst the ruins of it all,
The rebels rage their senseless battle through the night,
A lone star shines through the ash and smoke,
A false hope to the survivors of death and destruction,
Crosswinds blow the dust away from the mess,
Leaving the bare bones of society exposed to the elements,
A lone cry is heard out in the night,
A mournful goodbye called out,
The beginning of the end has begun and there's no excape,
Lost souls converge upon the light,
Fleeing the darkness of despair,
A last resort to find the way towards life,
Bitter endings sour the air,
As the warriors reap their victory upon their slaves,
Pilaging the masses as they go,
Taking with them the life and innocence,
The final hour draws near,
No place to go,
No place to hide,
The final show down into the unknown,
It is the beginning of the end.

Jmc 8/23/06