Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover

I found out long ago that not everything is what it seems. You know that saying, "Don't judge a book by it's cover." So why do many feel the need to completely write each other off based on appearance and assumptions? This is one of the many questions that baffles me.

Everyday people walk around absorbing their surroundings and observing everything in them. This includes watching others and "studying" what they are like. No I don't mean studying as a scientific lab experiment or stalking. What I mean is that no matter who you are, people watch the way others behave around them and based on their observations, judge those being observed. It is part of the way that we interact and part of our social consciousness. In order to initiate any type of communication with people, we tend to talk to others who appear to be most compatible or appealing to ourselves.

I'm no different from anyone else. Do I observe the world around me? Yes, I do. However, I try not to judge others too harshly because you never know what they are dealing with. Just because a person may appear one way, does not necessarily mean that everything is as it appears at face value. It is easy enough to put up a mask to shield one's self from the rest of the world. People hide things in their lives in order to fit in. People often hide the real person that they are in order to be a part of the social crowd.

No really has the right to judge someone else because of how they dress and who they hang out with. Sure you may not agree with the things that they do, but has it ever occurred to you that there may be something more going on there, that there may be something beneath the surface just out of reach? Before people judge each other they should consider what might be going on in that other person's life. Maybe they have a rough life at home and their "tough guy" attitude is their protection. Maybe something has happened in their life that has changed them. Just maybe they're having a bad day.

Here's a scenario for you:
The happy-go-lucky, straight A student goes to school everyday with a smile plastered on his face. He keeps to himself mainly, except for the few friends that he was close to. He dealt with the nagging and assumption that everything was perfect in his life, but no one knew that it was in fact the complete opposite. His family life sucked and he dealt with the constant bullies growing up. Then one day, what was seemingly out of the blue, he flips out on everyone and tells them to back off. He basically tells them the hours of work he puts in to get his grades and that it doesn't come easily. Needless to say everyone left him alone after that!

Ok here's another scenario:
The woman speeding down the highway driving kind of recklessly cuts you off. You get angry and start swearing and yelling. You're pissed of because she's driving like an idiot. Little do you know that she just received a call from the hospital and her teenage son was just admitted and is unstable. She's racing to the hospital to get there because the doctors told her that it didn't look good and they didn't give her son much time to live.

These are just a couple of the things that could happen and in many cases have happened. People go around judging one another for often times no reason at all. I'm not saying I'm perfect when it comes to this. I'm just saying that I've been on the receiving end of being judges for appearances and assumptions, and let me tell you that it sucks! No one likes to be judged, at least not when there isn't justification behind it. Being known as the "brain," "jock," "princess," "cheerleader," "drama-queen,""geek," or anything else isn't really being known at all. Sure these characteristics are a part of who we are and can describe a lot of what we do, but it isn't everything.

When I think back to high school, it doesn't bring back many good memories. My school was full of cliques, many of which made high school Hell! I was caught between groups of friends and different cliques, so it was hard to relate to one particular group. I was judged by my academic standing, athletic ability, and appearance. While these three things were a major part of my high school identity, they didn't really define the real me. Not many people took the time to get to know me outside of those classifications.

I still see the same thing going on here in college, but to a lesser degree. Thankfully everything is more laid back here. I don't think that I could ever handle high school again. Then again, who would want to do that again?

Jen