As I begin to get older I begin realizing more than ever that life is what you make it. More often than not I think many people take for granted the little things that make life so wonderful and enjoyable. For me growing up was such an amazing experience. Running free in the woods and fields, riding my bike everywhere, "exploring" the very same land that my father and his family that came before him grew up on. But gradually over time I began to out getting dirty and muddy less and less, and I stopped paying attention to a lot of the things that are taken for granted as a child. I hadn't realized that I was doing it until I got to college and took the time to go outside more (being cooped up in a dorm room sucks!). The changing of the seasons came slowly and gradually and as I began getting older I tried to pay more attention because when I wasn't, it was as if time was slipping through my hands.
There is no fighting the inevitable, nor is there a way to stop the clock or slow it down, a terrifying thought for someone that once thought that they were invincible. There is only that steady pace of the hourglass spilling away what time we have here. And I'm not going to lie, it terrifies me, the unknown and my mortality scare me, but I'm beginning to find peace in that thought. Knowing that someday when I have lived out my time here to the fullest and have watched my children and theirs come into this world that I have done something worthwhile and lived a good life. So I have begun to try to make the most of the blink of time that I have here in the world because you never know what tomorrow will bring or when it is done.
A very wise person told me once that life is too short to worry about the little inconsequential things that often plague our minds. Work is just work and a job is just a job, they come and go and yes are the means of our livelihoods, but they aren't so important that you worry yourself sick over them. They aren't so important that you miss out on the important aspects of life, like a birthday or holiday or vacation. Because at the end of the day, when all is said and done, none of that really matters. Your life and what you do here is important, the people in our lives are important, the places we've seen and things we've done. All of that is important. My mom always told me to "leave work at work, when you clock out and come home you don't have to worry about work because you aren't on the clock anymore, so leave the job at the job and enjoy life." Can't tell my mom ;) but this time she's right...again.
December 2007/January 2008, changed my life completely. At the time I was having a difficult time transitioning back home from college and 6 months into my job. I was unhappy, didn't know many people in the area anymore because most people I used to know moved away. So I decided that I was going to try out one of those on-line dating sites, not necessarily with the expectations or hopes that I'd meet "the one" or "Mr. Right" but with the hope to talk to and connect with people in the area again. Needless to say I'm now a year and a half into my relationship, the on-line site found a bunch of really nice people, but it also found my Mr. Right. At the same time I signed up for the website I started going to the gym, no more sitting in the house watching TV, just because there was snow on the ground didn't mean it was an excuse to be lazy. I also re-connected with some friends from high school and life as I knew it began changing.
I grew as a person in those few months and have much more since then. I had the "life will happen" or "things will happen when they're meant to" mentality and it really wasn't working. Life doesn't necessarily just happen, life is what you make it my friends! If you're unhappy about something change it because you are the only one who can, no one can do it for you. If you want something go after it! Some people I know have this notion and expectation that they will meet the man/woman of their dreams randomly one day and it will be love at first sight, so they're waiting around for it to happen. And maybe for some it does...eventually, but it's not going to happen if you don't at least get out of the house and make it happen. Why would you want to wait on the sidelines of life watching and waiting? Wouldn't you rather be out there in the game? Wouldn't you rather participate?
I've tried to participate more and be a part of things rather than sit back. Yes, I'm still the observer at times. I'm a people observer, they fascinate me with all their quirks and random actions, it's really quite entertaining try it some time. But what I'm trying to say is don't let your life pass you by. You don't want to one day finally come out of whatever state of mind you've been in to realize that life literally has passed you by. We're only here for a blink of time in the grand scheme of things. A small spark of light that is easily and quickly extinguished. Our lives are a tiny flicker of light that is fragile and vulnerable. We aren't invincible, so don't go all crazy...but enjoy every minute and every second as if it were our last. Make a memory every chance you get and cherish it.
And that is the end of my random ramblings, it is way to early to be awake this early on a Saturday morning (my boyfriend is asleep snoring next to me while I'm wide awake typing)! Until next time... Live, Laugh, Love my friends!
Jen
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