If it is one thing in life that has always been there for me it has been my family. Through thick and thin they have stood by me and have helped me along the way. They give me strength when I have none, they give me hope when I have given up, and they have a faith and belief in me that often brings me to tears. Their unconditional love and support has gotten me through the worst and best of times. Without them I don't know where I'd be today.
With that said let me introduce you to my family, who is said to be able to give the Osborne's a run for their money. ( No, I'm not joking! ) First there is my father, the working man, who with his quiet solid form, can do just about anything. I have "super-dad," who can do just about anything. He can fix a car, build just about anything, make you laugh until you cry, make you smile, and just be crazy old dad...That's right crazy, but we'll get back to that.
Next comes mom...There's not a stronger woman you will ever find. She's beautiful, smart, funny, but she does have her "crazy blonde" moments...Don't we all. She stayed at home and raised us most of our lives, but occasionally over the years she has worked odd jobs. She is the most loving and fun person anyone could want for a mother. She's understanding and patient...She had to be with us demons in the house...( four kids by the age of 29...Five when you include the biggest kid in the house, dad!)
Then there's me...The rebel, the supposed "book worm" and "goody-goody," yeah right...If they only knew. Let's just say that people have always assumed I was the Mandy Moore character in "A Walk to Remember." You know the one...The girl who never does anything wrong. That's a laugh. I could pour the perfect beer from a keg before I could do most other things. I was drinking on a regular basis by the age of 13. I skipped CCD-"Sunday School" and pretty much rebelled when I could...And sort of still do.
Next is my brother, the comedian in our rabble of misfits. He can talk his way around you in a conversation and in the end you'll agree with him for two reasons: 1.) you just want him to shut up and stop bothering you 2.) he can sometimes actually have you agreeing and you won't know it. He says the right things to make you laugh and bring up your mood, despite his sarcasm. He's a big clown... A cross between Jim Carry and Adam Sandler and I'm not exaggerating. He's hilarious, but he's also the sweetest guy in the world.
Then there's my little sister, the resident pre-teen who, well can make things a little dramatic and stressful at times. I suppose that it's the age, but seriously, she's topped even me in the bitchy category at times, but you gotta love the girl for it. Under her bristly exterior is one of the most caring people that I know. Sure she says some pretty random and dumb stuff at times, but it just makes you love her that much more.
Finally, last but not least is our little man, my "baby" brother who turns 8 next month. He is one of the most active little guys I have ever known. Some days he's up and out before the rest of us off on one of his adventures and doesn't come home 'til dark ( summer time usually). He's the kid who brings critters home in his pockets and climbs trees 10 times his height. He gets dirty and muddy and he loves it.
Now that I've introduced you to the family, I'll give you stories and scenarios so you better understand the madness I can't get enough of.
1.)...We were all home one day sitting down for dinner in the dining room for the first time in a long time. (We usually all eat in other rooms or at different times.) Dinner went relatively well, the conversation wasn't what you'd call dinner conversation, but oh well. So dinner was coming to an end with all of us bickering and arguing, over what I don't remember. My brother and I swapped veggies for steak ( he hates steak) and mom got mad...Things escalated and finally everyone was ready to leave, but we calmed down and mom calmly stated that if we couldn't sit down nicely that we wouldn't try it again. Dad got up and went to get the dinner rolls and mom asked him to pass her one...And he did, literally, he threw it to her, not to be mean...He just tossed it and she wasn't looking and it hit on the head...And we all (except mom) died laughing, needless to say our "nice family dinner" was over that night.
2.)...We were all in the kitchen/dining room talking, I don't remember what about but let me give you some background info again on my brother, "the comedian." Apparently he had just recently watched a Jeff Foxworthy special on Comedy Central...Need I say more? Anyways, back to the story. Well at some point during the day my sister had gotten 2 "signs" from my brother for saying something stupid...So were were all talking in the kitchen and she randomly blurts out the most absurd thing in the world..."What if there was cubed cheese?" ( I'll explain further) My brother, being himself, hands her the third "sign" and proceeded to throw his shoe at her and wacked her in the head knocking her off of her chair. I fell to the ground laughing as did most everyone else...It gets better...Then she says"No, I meant cheese in an ice cube..." And that just left us all laughing so hard we were crying...And my brother looked appalled that she would think of something that crazy...At first he thought, as did we all, that she was talking about a block of cheese, but this time she out did herself in her random dumb comments.
3.)...My "baby" brother was outside in the yard one day with mom while the rest of us were at school, or work. They were gardening and pulling weeds from the flower beds. My brother, the little helper that he is wanted to help...So he did...Mom pulled up some weeds by the roots and out fell a worm. Now my brother was little at the time I think 3 at the most. He touched it and freaked out and started crying...Apparently his adventurous outdoors nature was still latent. Anyways when we got home from school mom told us what happened saying, "...Doesn't like worms.."And my brother turns to my "baby" brother and asks..."Why not they taste like chicken?" yep he actually asked that, whether or not he was serious I still don't know, but I wouldn't put it past him, the kid ate bugs until he was like 10 just for the Hell of it...He'd eat just about anything...
I don't have any particular funny stories about dad, but there are many coming from a guy who threw rocks and sticks at the neighborhood kids as a game...He's an all around fun guy.
Like I said we could give the Osborne's a run for their money...Me the rebel, my bro the comedian, my sister the drama queen ditz, and lil bro who gets into more trouble than the rest of us combined, then again he learned from the masters of childhood terror...Sledding off of cliffs...Playing "diver Dan" in the road... acorn and apple fights...yep we were crazy and did some pretty dumb stuff just for kicks...Who else build "go-carts" out of an old push lawn mower and uses a rock tied to an old extension cord for breaks...Those were the days and I loved every one of them.
Jen
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